Alright… I’ve been trying to load up my many pictures on to my blog/ face book, but the computer doesn’t want to do it- so I guess I’ll resort to forcing my self to adding another entry. Britt- I copied the version of my profile picture with the fish- so once I can get them up, they should be pretty snazzy. It is so much harder to keep up with this blog thing than I ever would have expected. Us fellow Thailand Abroaders have pretty much 0 free time. Almost everyone has around a 1-2 hour commute to school everyday. And then school lasts from 8 to 4/5 depending on the day. My average day consists of the following:
-wake up at 5:30/5:45/6:00 depending on how groggy I am and how much I want to push off breakfast (which I think I’m expected to be taking the time to actually eat… even though I haven’t been recently. An extra 15 minutes sleep means so, so much when its that damn early.) Always must make sure to take the necessary shower that prevents me from being a smelly farang. I take the neighboorhood bus to school at 630 with an awesome neighboorhoood bus drivier and blah blah blah then its Thai class. Then seminar- which is always outside, and always very sweaty. Sometimes interesting. Sometimes terribly boring- it all depends on the day/ the teacher. (teachers switch e/ time round) and then every other day its cross fit- which is like boot –get- in –shape- for- the -crazy –backpacking- that –we- all- know- none –of- you- actually –worked- out- for- over- the- summer-camp. We did sprints today. Fml. It hurts. And asthma sucks a nut.
School ends anywhere between 3:30 and 5:30. Sorta unpredictable when it will end. And then- when its done, it’s a crazy hectic ride through the city on the Rote Dahng- the giant open ended red thai bus that takes you to and fro. Takes around an hour and a half to get home through the traffic. A crowded space in the rote dahng, an open ended butt for the car. Be careful not to let your things fall. I get home. Take one more shower. Eat dinner, then maybe shower again. Practice thai (reading and speaking). Read articles about ecology and thai history (!!!! Its so cool! Ill post a nerdy blog all about it someday..)etc…. by 9 you’re exausted. Reading gets blurry.keep going. Just keep going. Bed at 10. Repeat process.
No free time= bit of an adjustment. Every Friday we do activities though.tomorrow= rock climbing and cave exploring! Last week was a retreat by a waterfall. Awesome. Ted wrote about it. Go read.
Ok blah blah blah it took forever to explain my busy schedule. I don’t even want to talk about my schedule. I want to talk about the following things. A) thai bathrooms B) Thai language C) Thai history D) random funny moments. We’ll see how many I can get through. Ill write in short hand.
A) Thai Bathrooms
Sometimes you squat over a porcelin potty and then wash it down a pipe with a bucket of water. Sometimes not. Can’t use toilet paper though. It clogs the pipes. Instead- there is always (and I’m serious here) a water spray gun hooked to the wall. You clean the poopy butt with the spray gun by the toilet. If you want- you can grab your own TP- but you have to throw it in the trash. I tend to use the TP. I think every ISDSI farang uses the tp. Its probably why the bathrooms smell so bad there.
B) A funny Moment:
Kelsey: * points at food* what is this? (aria ka?)
Mae: Is rice and penis.
K: what?
Mae: rice and penis.
K: No. not right. No.
Mae: Yes! Is right! Rice and penis! Is penis!
K: *grossed confused BWAH? Scrunchy eyebrow look.*
Mae:! Is right! Is penis!
K: *oh I understand this now look* Oh!!!!! No! rice and peanuts! peaNut!
M: yes! Is what I say! is penis!
K: no. no. no. no. no. Peanut. Always say t. its peanuT… penis means…. Something else. (End scene)
c) A funny moment while learning Thai:
- its not weird here to talk about poop. You say “I have diarreah” to your host mom, she says “Cool! Me too!” Yesterday in class, we learned all the words for sick- a lesson that was complete with some pretty funny illustrations (I took pictures) Among all the usual sick words, I learned to say “throw- up”[ –Ah… jeean…. = formal (vomit) Nooh…? Ahg.= informal. (i.e.hurl)—] diarreah, [tong! See-ah? Or tong! Dun…] and constipated. [tong! Poog.] To practice, our ajan (professer), a relatively modest lady, taught us the word Krahn!- which refers to times… as in how many times you do something.
“Today, Ajan has diarreah 5 times. What happens to ajan?” She said to us, applying the concept. The class blushed.
“Ajan goes to the bathroom,” we replied in turn.
d) Learning Thai
Every now and then, I pause and just shake my head at how ridiculous the language seems. The following info I present will quite possibly make the prospect of learning thai seem terrifying to anyone not currently enduring the process. However- I merely would like to share these lingual rules with you, because I find them rather obnoxiously hilarious.
Thai is a tonal language. There are 5 tones- rising, falling, high, low, and flat. The only way I can remember how to say any of them is through puncuation- although that only sometimes does the trick.
High tone generally is paired with a ! noise. However it is sometimes paired with a slight inflection of the voice- in which case the sound is something like ?! You dip your voice down briefely, only to instantly fling it to a level of excitement.
Low tone is a period. Say. The. Words. Like. How. You. Just. Read. The. Ones. In. This. Sentence.
This…is…an…example…of…how…you…say...a…flat…tone… long and flat. Like a slow-mo robot. Sort of.
This...?is…?a…?rising…?tone…? make sure to stay a little longer in the deep voice land than usual- otherwise you might accidentally make it a high tone.
“I am falllllliiiinnnnnggggg dooowwwnnnnnnnnn thheee mouuuunnnnttttttaaaaaiiiinnnn” = falling tone. When I write out the falling tone words, I have quite literally, draw them as if they are falling down a mountain.
The meaning of words changes dramatically depending on the tone.
Example: kaaaooowwwww toooaaaaadddt= I’m sorry. Cow toad= can I fart here?
Kaow…?= white. Kkkkkaaaaooooowwwwww = rice. Kaow…=he/she. kaow. =news. Say any of them wrong to a thai person, and they will have no idea what you’re saying. Seriously. Just now, I tried to ask which one was white in thai to my mae, and she wouldn’t stop miming eating something the whole time. Guess that means I said rice instead. Oops.
Reading is equally ridiculous- although I feel like I’ve picked it up pretty quick. There are 5 different letters for the sound k. 44 consonants total. R turns in to an N noise when its at the end of a syllable. There are a handful of silent letters, and a fancy silent letter whose job is to change the tone of the word. There are also tone markers- which make different sounds depending on the context. My favorite is the letter whose job is to make the letter it stands next to silent…. what’s the point of having that?
Thai isn’t solely written from left to right like our good old fashioned latin based languages. Instead, its more like a scrabble board. Some letters tower above others. Vowels sit on top of consonants; others hide below them. Some vowels are placed to the left of a consonant, even though they are pronounced later on in the word. There is no punctuation at all. A sentence more or less looks like one really really really long word. Writing feels like constructing a strange type of train/ serpant with stubby arms and legs. In my head, it feels like I’m drawing a cardboard square monster instead of writing words. I look at the things I’ve written, and can’t stop from imagining a series of serpants that wiggle and twirl, the different letters spinning up and around their midriffs, and squirting out strange noises.
“Kelsey! Pay attention!” my Ajaan calls to me,
“What?” I then say in return.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Gender in Thailand
Gender in Thailand
This past weekend, I went to visit a temple on the mountain Doi Suket with my host family. To get there, you taxi up a long mountain road, and climb up a long flight of steps to get there, so you can pray in a variety of ornate rooms. The location to me seemed generally uninteresting- it seemed like the place had once been sacred, and then had been turned into a Giant Tourist Attraction (although mainly Thai tourists. There were a handful of farang- but it wasn’t packed to the brim with middle class anglo Saxons by any means) As a general rule, I find that Giant Tourist Attractions, with rare exception, tend to be incredibly boring. Vendors clustered the steps riding up to the temple, selling souveneirs to the many visitors. Inappropriately dressed Farang walked around looking serene (farang means foreigner…and guava- but that’s beside the point. Ever since I found out that the farang who dress with that dreadlock-tattoo-piercing-shower negligent -loose-clothing-shoulder showing- type of look are referred to as bird shit farang, I have felt particularly judgmental of the people who fit this description. I keep wanting to walk up to them and tell them to buy a new wardrobe, and invest in deodorant while their in Thailand, because Thai people think that the stinky hippie look is disgusting.), and rowdy crowds repeatedly took pictures infront of the temple. It all seemed pretty standard. Yawn.
There was one thing there though, that I found very interesting. Riddled throughout the crowd of Thai and farang visitors, were lady boys. Lots of them. Transgendered/ transsexual men (women?) - that walked around in skirts, long hair, full makeup, and long painted finger nails. They giggled more than anyone I’ve ever seen, and raised their voices to pitches that reminded me of helium.
In a way, they were kind of a spectacle- menwomen walking around, acting more feminine than anyone in the space put together. They were like Barbie. Only worse. And yet, at the same time, they were so common, that they were almost kind of normal. I couldn’t make sense of it.
While we were there, my host mom made a point of approaching these two lady boys that were loitering near by a gong. Lady boy 1 had long sleek hair, big brown eyes, and a blatant man voice. Lady boy 2 was probably the skinniest person I’ve ever seen in my life. She/he (?) was the width of a malnutritioned 6 year old. (yet strangely enough, I don’t think s/he was anorexic. Her joints didn’t pop out, and her torso looked muscular. But her waist was non existant!) S/he had chin length hair that was tied up in pig tails. And she spoke like Mickey Mouse. It was so high pitched that it drove me crazy- I kept wanting to shout at her “ You’re doing it wrong! Too high up! Its annoying! And your giving yourself away! You don’t want to be a cartoon character! Aahjajhfhjahhjahahahhhh!”
Mae (host mom) spoke to lady boys 1 and 2 in a very loud, annunciated voice. Like how you speak to someone who’s very nice, but just a little retarded. Or deaf. Or in a wheel chair. Or missing a limb. You’re friendly- but just way, way, way. Too. Friendly. They spoke in Thai, for a while, but it soon became clear that Mae wanted to teach lady boy 1 and 2 how to ring the gong. She held up the mallet, and demonstrated how to gong-ring by giving it a good solid thwack. She used both hands, and swung the mallet a little like a baseball bat.
“Ooooohhh!” Lady boy 2 cooed with amazement, he/her ridiculously highpitched voice emanating more than the gong did. The two of them flitted their hands towards their chins in a graceful girly fashion, and gossiped in each others ears. They moved like a pair of southern bells- minus the corsets, and plus some adams apples. With baby, dainty footsteps, the two tiptoed over to the gong. They giggled. Brought their hands to their chin. And lady boy one grabbed the fucking mallet in the most Victorian-era-dainty- fucking way possible. I don’t care what your gender is- you grab a mallet like the way s/he did- it is going to make me gag. Let me see if I can explain this to you.
S/he held it with maybe three of her fingers. Wrist limp, and splayed out to the world. When s/he tapped the gong, s/he bent down low on her knees, and tapped- and I mean tapped in the frailest way possible.
“Ding!” it went
“Ooohhh giggle giggle giggle” went lady boy 1 in return
“roll roll roll scoff scoff scoff wtf are you doing please hold that mallet act as if you’re an actual person and not a plastic doll dear lord “ went my brain.
“No no no no no no no” went Mae’s head, waving arms, and smirk. “ No.”
She gave another example. Took the mallet. Two hands. Solid thwack. Goooonngggg.
This time, Mickey Mouse came up and gave it a shot, only to repeat the same mistake. I rolled my eyes again, and wandered off to look at the people crowding over the shoe lockers in the far east corner.
I couldn’t make sense of the whole thing. Here I am, in a country where foreigners who wear dreadlocks, or even go so far as to show their shoulders are referred to as “bird shit” farang. It is inappropriate to dry your underwear in public (although not in my house, because “here, we are only women”), students will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS wear a uniform, and the notion of taking less than 2 showers a day is unfathomable. And yet there are lady boys everywhere. They sit in rows under signs that say “lady boy” down town, they appear in crowds at buddist temples, one continually pops up on my 6 year old host sister’s favorite tv show- right next to the bossy fat lady, and the rich and poor princesses competing for the protaganist prince’s attention. Tony Jaa- (the Thai Chuck Norris) ‘s most powerful archnemesis is a lady boy. To put this into a similar context- this is like Sauron, being a lady boy. Darth Vader- as a lady boy. Sherr Kahn… as a lady boy.
Today, I decided to ask Pi- one of the Thai staff at ISDSI about it. So far, Pi has gotten to know us the best out of all the ISDSI staff. Judging by her looks, she’s anywhere between the age of 15 and 28, but if I had to put my money on a number, I’d say its something over 22. I’m not quite sure what her specific job is, but she went with us to the fish thing last week, and we- the American students- immediately latched on to her. She’s that type of teacher helper that feels like your friend. She is so interesting- and she seems genuinely interested in getting to know us. Also- you ask her a question, and she gives you an essay for an answer. We received a full narration of the historical and social contexts – along with a translation- to the tony Jaa movie I mentioned ealier. (although a translation wasn’t really necessary. Most of the movie is nothing more than broken bones and fight scenes. Which tony jaa ultimately won…. Although what only seemed like a close call. If you want to read more about this movie, read teds blog. Orientalblunderblog.blogspot.com. He found it far cooler, and far less gross than I did.)
It was because of Pi that I even learned that the sexy lady with the unusually deep voice (not super deep… it was like… tracy chapman deep) and large hands who was out to get Tony Jaa even was a lady boy.
“You’re sure?” We kept asking her “Yes.” She said, as matter of factly as possible. “She is lady boy.” (Pi also told us lots of interesting things about the perceptions of elephants in Asia. All I remember is that in China its good luck if you cover an elephant skeleton in gold…. Or maybe that was just the movie. Who knows.)
So yah. Today I ask Pi about lady boys in Thailand. And this is what I find out: (I’m going write this out as close as to how I remember Pi telling me, because I don’t want to translate something wrong… and… idk. I feel like it might explain things better. Also- just for a disclaimer here: I am writing what I can remember as best as I can. Granted, I had this conversation earlier today- but little details might be different. Keep in mind too that most English -speaking -Thai’s seem to understand apx ½ of what I’m saying. Although Pi Am speaks really good English, so I don’t think that was a problem here)
“There have always been lady boys. As long as I can remember. The family always know if their son was lady boy, because when he little, he always want to wear dresses, and hair clips- you know- but except he is boy. But for a long time, it wasn’t good. Especially if your oldest or only son was lady boy. Because then- the family cant pass on things, because son is not man, but is woman. But then, lady boys collect together, and they fight, and they say “we are people,” and then things start to change.”
Me: “What about public portrayal of lady boys? I see them every where…. Even on T.V”
Pi AM. “Yah. That start because of Ms. Tiffany. Is beauty contest… like Ms America- only for lady boys. It start, like… maybe 10 years ago I think, and then people like lady boys, and they are everywhere.”
Me: Does everyone watch Ms. Tiffany? Or only Lady Boys? Do children? Adults? Parents
Pi Am: Yah, everybody. I watch when I was a kid. This I think, was the start of all the lady boys on all the TV. There are also very famous lady boys that are actress. they are just like women. Are very famous, everyone think they are very pretty. Very rich. Everyone like them.
Me: What about women who want to be men? Are they here too?
Pi Am: *Snickers” Yah they here too. They are called Tom. Here, there are two kinds of Tom. There is Tom like a style, and there is Tom like a woman who wants to be boy. You tell the difference. If it is Tom like a style, she has, you know, makeup, and fashion, and short spiky hair. If it is Tom, like a boy- she look and dress in baggy shirt like man.
Me: Is it acceptable to be Tom? Lady Boy?
Pi: Yah yah yah. But not with old people. But I have friends that are tom, that are lady boy. You go to bar- and all the girls that work at the bar- they are all lady boy. This often confuse many farang - you be careful! (she said this sort of glancing at a group of guys in the circle that were ½ listening ½ talking amongst themselves.)
Me: What about, if you had a girl who dates a Tom. Is that ok?
Pi: Yah. Then she is Dee. There are girls who are lesbian- you know this? Lesbian-she like other girls, but then there are girls who are dee. This is girl who only like Toms. They say it is better, because they don’t like the look of woman, but it is better to date some one woman because much easier for woman and dee to understand each other than woman and thai man- Kao Jai? (understand?)
And sometimes a woman is Tom, and she is a man- but only for a little bit. She decide to be man for a little bit, and then she go get married, and be woman, and this is ok.
“Ahh. We have some thing like this in America- where sometimes girls are lesbians for a little while, and then become strait.”
“Yah. And you have bisexual in America too. We have Bisexual here- but it new. Bisexual come way after lesbian and lady boy and tom and dee. We think it much more strange to be bisexual.
And is ok for man to date tom, but can’t get married- you know? (I Think I remember this italisized section right. But I might be wrong here.)”
“Is it ok for Thai men to date lady boys? Is there a dee for men?”
*Giggles * “No, no, no, no. they don’t do that. If a man date a lady boy than his friends will make fun of him , say he is whimpy- you know? There are some men who date the ladyboy, but if they do- is big deal. Is weird. The only time a man sleep with lady boy is by accident. Like, sometimes you know, he gets drunk at the bar, and he bring the girl home. And then the bell man see him and the lady boy. And then the next day, he get drunk again, and he bring home real girl this time, and the bell man ask him- hey? Who you like? Girl or lady boy? Because you bring home lady boy yesterday! And the man he say- I did?, and then he is embarrassed.
“Who do lady boys like then? Only the man? Other lady boys? Gay men? Strait women?” I asked, trying to more or less figure out – do these people’s sex lives consist of tricking drunk men at bars into sleeping with them? Are most of them celibate? Promiscuous? What?
“No,” Pi said, “Is hard, because the lady boy- she only like strait men. But the strait man don’t like lady boy. And is not ok to get married, have long relationship- nothing like that. Only in bars. Except for the famous actress lady boys. With them is different. With them- you are lucky if they are your girlfriend.”
“Dude, this is confusing” some one said from the crowd. “Too many different combonations, I can’t keep it strait.
“It just mean that it hard, because everyone take all the men, and is hard to find boyfriend,” Pi then said with a giggle.
At that, I was out of further questions. A few minutes later, Pi brought over her computer, and showed me a picture of the most famous lady boy of all. The Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie, Lindsay Lohan, people magazine lady boy. Its true- she’s gorgeous. There were even pictures of her posing in her underwear. You never would have guessed.
(look up Miss Tiffany online if you want to see photos of the beauty pageant.)
This past weekend, I went to visit a temple on the mountain Doi Suket with my host family. To get there, you taxi up a long mountain road, and climb up a long flight of steps to get there, so you can pray in a variety of ornate rooms. The location to me seemed generally uninteresting- it seemed like the place had once been sacred, and then had been turned into a Giant Tourist Attraction (although mainly Thai tourists. There were a handful of farang- but it wasn’t packed to the brim with middle class anglo Saxons by any means) As a general rule, I find that Giant Tourist Attractions, with rare exception, tend to be incredibly boring. Vendors clustered the steps riding up to the temple, selling souveneirs to the many visitors. Inappropriately dressed Farang walked around looking serene (farang means foreigner…and guava- but that’s beside the point. Ever since I found out that the farang who dress with that dreadlock-tattoo-piercing-shower negligent -loose-clothing-shoulder showing- type of look are referred to as bird shit farang, I have felt particularly judgmental of the people who fit this description. I keep wanting to walk up to them and tell them to buy a new wardrobe, and invest in deodorant while their in Thailand, because Thai people think that the stinky hippie look is disgusting.), and rowdy crowds repeatedly took pictures infront of the temple. It all seemed pretty standard. Yawn.
There was one thing there though, that I found very interesting. Riddled throughout the crowd of Thai and farang visitors, were lady boys. Lots of them. Transgendered/ transsexual men (women?) - that walked around in skirts, long hair, full makeup, and long painted finger nails. They giggled more than anyone I’ve ever seen, and raised their voices to pitches that reminded me of helium.
In a way, they were kind of a spectacle- menwomen walking around, acting more feminine than anyone in the space put together. They were like Barbie. Only worse. And yet, at the same time, they were so common, that they were almost kind of normal. I couldn’t make sense of it.
While we were there, my host mom made a point of approaching these two lady boys that were loitering near by a gong. Lady boy 1 had long sleek hair, big brown eyes, and a blatant man voice. Lady boy 2 was probably the skinniest person I’ve ever seen in my life. She/he (?) was the width of a malnutritioned 6 year old. (yet strangely enough, I don’t think s/he was anorexic. Her joints didn’t pop out, and her torso looked muscular. But her waist was non existant!) S/he had chin length hair that was tied up in pig tails. And she spoke like Mickey Mouse. It was so high pitched that it drove me crazy- I kept wanting to shout at her “ You’re doing it wrong! Too high up! Its annoying! And your giving yourself away! You don’t want to be a cartoon character! Aahjajhfhjahhjahahahhhh!”
Mae (host mom) spoke to lady boys 1 and 2 in a very loud, annunciated voice. Like how you speak to someone who’s very nice, but just a little retarded. Or deaf. Or in a wheel chair. Or missing a limb. You’re friendly- but just way, way, way. Too. Friendly. They spoke in Thai, for a while, but it soon became clear that Mae wanted to teach lady boy 1 and 2 how to ring the gong. She held up the mallet, and demonstrated how to gong-ring by giving it a good solid thwack. She used both hands, and swung the mallet a little like a baseball bat.
“Ooooohhh!” Lady boy 2 cooed with amazement, he/her ridiculously highpitched voice emanating more than the gong did. The two of them flitted their hands towards their chins in a graceful girly fashion, and gossiped in each others ears. They moved like a pair of southern bells- minus the corsets, and plus some adams apples. With baby, dainty footsteps, the two tiptoed over to the gong. They giggled. Brought their hands to their chin. And lady boy one grabbed the fucking mallet in the most Victorian-era-dainty- fucking way possible. I don’t care what your gender is- you grab a mallet like the way s/he did- it is going to make me gag. Let me see if I can explain this to you.
S/he held it with maybe three of her fingers. Wrist limp, and splayed out to the world. When s/he tapped the gong, s/he bent down low on her knees, and tapped- and I mean tapped in the frailest way possible.
“Ding!” it went
“Ooohhh giggle giggle giggle” went lady boy 1 in return
“roll roll roll scoff scoff scoff wtf are you doing please hold that mallet act as if you’re an actual person and not a plastic doll dear lord “ went my brain.
“No no no no no no no” went Mae’s head, waving arms, and smirk. “ No.”
She gave another example. Took the mallet. Two hands. Solid thwack. Goooonngggg.
This time, Mickey Mouse came up and gave it a shot, only to repeat the same mistake. I rolled my eyes again, and wandered off to look at the people crowding over the shoe lockers in the far east corner.
I couldn’t make sense of the whole thing. Here I am, in a country where foreigners who wear dreadlocks, or even go so far as to show their shoulders are referred to as “bird shit” farang. It is inappropriate to dry your underwear in public (although not in my house, because “here, we are only women”), students will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS wear a uniform, and the notion of taking less than 2 showers a day is unfathomable. And yet there are lady boys everywhere. They sit in rows under signs that say “lady boy” down town, they appear in crowds at buddist temples, one continually pops up on my 6 year old host sister’s favorite tv show- right next to the bossy fat lady, and the rich and poor princesses competing for the protaganist prince’s attention. Tony Jaa- (the Thai Chuck Norris) ‘s most powerful archnemesis is a lady boy. To put this into a similar context- this is like Sauron, being a lady boy. Darth Vader- as a lady boy. Sherr Kahn… as a lady boy.
Today, I decided to ask Pi- one of the Thai staff at ISDSI about it. So far, Pi has gotten to know us the best out of all the ISDSI staff. Judging by her looks, she’s anywhere between the age of 15 and 28, but if I had to put my money on a number, I’d say its something over 22. I’m not quite sure what her specific job is, but she went with us to the fish thing last week, and we- the American students- immediately latched on to her. She’s that type of teacher helper that feels like your friend. She is so interesting- and she seems genuinely interested in getting to know us. Also- you ask her a question, and she gives you an essay for an answer. We received a full narration of the historical and social contexts – along with a translation- to the tony Jaa movie I mentioned ealier. (although a translation wasn’t really necessary. Most of the movie is nothing more than broken bones and fight scenes. Which tony jaa ultimately won…. Although what only seemed like a close call. If you want to read more about this movie, read teds blog. Orientalblunderblog.blogspot.com. He found it far cooler, and far less gross than I did.)
It was because of Pi that I even learned that the sexy lady with the unusually deep voice (not super deep… it was like… tracy chapman deep) and large hands who was out to get Tony Jaa even was a lady boy.
“You’re sure?” We kept asking her “Yes.” She said, as matter of factly as possible. “She is lady boy.” (Pi also told us lots of interesting things about the perceptions of elephants in Asia. All I remember is that in China its good luck if you cover an elephant skeleton in gold…. Or maybe that was just the movie. Who knows.)
So yah. Today I ask Pi about lady boys in Thailand. And this is what I find out: (I’m going write this out as close as to how I remember Pi telling me, because I don’t want to translate something wrong… and… idk. I feel like it might explain things better. Also- just for a disclaimer here: I am writing what I can remember as best as I can. Granted, I had this conversation earlier today- but little details might be different. Keep in mind too that most English -speaking -Thai’s seem to understand apx ½ of what I’m saying. Although Pi Am speaks really good English, so I don’t think that was a problem here)
“There have always been lady boys. As long as I can remember. The family always know if their son was lady boy, because when he little, he always want to wear dresses, and hair clips- you know- but except he is boy. But for a long time, it wasn’t good. Especially if your oldest or only son was lady boy. Because then- the family cant pass on things, because son is not man, but is woman. But then, lady boys collect together, and they fight, and they say “we are people,” and then things start to change.”
Me: “What about public portrayal of lady boys? I see them every where…. Even on T.V”
Pi AM. “Yah. That start because of Ms. Tiffany. Is beauty contest… like Ms America- only for lady boys. It start, like… maybe 10 years ago I think, and then people like lady boys, and they are everywhere.”
Me: Does everyone watch Ms. Tiffany? Or only Lady Boys? Do children? Adults? Parents
Pi Am: Yah, everybody. I watch when I was a kid. This I think, was the start of all the lady boys on all the TV. There are also very famous lady boys that are actress. they are just like women. Are very famous, everyone think they are very pretty. Very rich. Everyone like them.
Me: What about women who want to be men? Are they here too?
Pi Am: *Snickers” Yah they here too. They are called Tom. Here, there are two kinds of Tom. There is Tom like a style, and there is Tom like a woman who wants to be boy. You tell the difference. If it is Tom like a style, she has, you know, makeup, and fashion, and short spiky hair. If it is Tom, like a boy- she look and dress in baggy shirt like man.
Me: Is it acceptable to be Tom? Lady Boy?
Pi: Yah yah yah. But not with old people. But I have friends that are tom, that are lady boy. You go to bar- and all the girls that work at the bar- they are all lady boy. This often confuse many farang - you be careful! (she said this sort of glancing at a group of guys in the circle that were ½ listening ½ talking amongst themselves.)
Me: What about, if you had a girl who dates a Tom. Is that ok?
Pi: Yah. Then she is Dee. There are girls who are lesbian- you know this? Lesbian-she like other girls, but then there are girls who are dee. This is girl who only like Toms. They say it is better, because they don’t like the look of woman, but it is better to date some one woman because much easier for woman and dee to understand each other than woman and thai man- Kao Jai? (understand?)
And sometimes a woman is Tom, and she is a man- but only for a little bit. She decide to be man for a little bit, and then she go get married, and be woman, and this is ok.
“Ahh. We have some thing like this in America- where sometimes girls are lesbians for a little while, and then become strait.”
“Yah. And you have bisexual in America too. We have Bisexual here- but it new. Bisexual come way after lesbian and lady boy and tom and dee. We think it much more strange to be bisexual.
And is ok for man to date tom, but can’t get married- you know? (I Think I remember this italisized section right. But I might be wrong here.)”
“Is it ok for Thai men to date lady boys? Is there a dee for men?”
*Giggles * “No, no, no, no. they don’t do that. If a man date a lady boy than his friends will make fun of him , say he is whimpy- you know? There are some men who date the ladyboy, but if they do- is big deal. Is weird. The only time a man sleep with lady boy is by accident. Like, sometimes you know, he gets drunk at the bar, and he bring the girl home. And then the bell man see him and the lady boy. And then the next day, he get drunk again, and he bring home real girl this time, and the bell man ask him- hey? Who you like? Girl or lady boy? Because you bring home lady boy yesterday! And the man he say- I did?, and then he is embarrassed.
“Who do lady boys like then? Only the man? Other lady boys? Gay men? Strait women?” I asked, trying to more or less figure out – do these people’s sex lives consist of tricking drunk men at bars into sleeping with them? Are most of them celibate? Promiscuous? What?
“No,” Pi said, “Is hard, because the lady boy- she only like strait men. But the strait man don’t like lady boy. And is not ok to get married, have long relationship- nothing like that. Only in bars. Except for the famous actress lady boys. With them is different. With them- you are lucky if they are your girlfriend.”
“Dude, this is confusing” some one said from the crowd. “Too many different combonations, I can’t keep it strait.
“It just mean that it hard, because everyone take all the men, and is hard to find boyfriend,” Pi then said with a giggle.
At that, I was out of further questions. A few minutes later, Pi brought over her computer, and showed me a picture of the most famous lady boy of all. The Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie, Lindsay Lohan, people magazine lady boy. Its true- she’s gorgeous. There were even pictures of her posing in her underwear. You never would have guessed.
(look up Miss Tiffany online if you want to see photos of the beauty pageant.)
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