New Blog

Alright… I’ve been trying to load up my  many pictures on to my blog/ face book, but the computer doesn’t want to do it- so I guess I’ll resort to forcing my self to adding another entry. Britt- I copied the version of my profile picture with the fish- so once I can get them up, they should be pretty snazzy.  It is so much harder to keep up with this blog thing than I ever would have expected. Us fellow Thailand Abroaders have pretty much 0 free time. Almost everyone has around a 1-2 hour commute to school everyday. And then school lasts from 8 to 4/5 depending on the day. My average day consists of the following:
-wake up at 5:30/5:45/6:00 depending on how groggy I am and how much I want to push off breakfast (which I think I’m expected to be taking the time to actually eat… even though I haven’t been recently. An extra 15 minutes sleep means so, so much when its that damn early.) Always must make sure to take the necessary shower that prevents me from being a smelly farang. I take the neighboorhood bus to school at 630 with an awesome neighboorhoood bus drivier and blah blah blah then its Thai class. Then seminar- which is always outside, and always very sweaty. Sometimes interesting. Sometimes  terribly boring- it all depends on the day/ the teacher. (teachers switch e/ time round) and then every other day its cross fit- which is like boot –get- in –shape- for- the -crazy –backpacking- that –we- all- know- none –of- you- actually –worked- out- for- over- the- summer-camp. We did sprints today. Fml. It hurts. And asthma sucks a nut.
    School ends anywhere between 3:30 and 5:30. Sorta unpredictable when it will end. And then- when its done, it’s a crazy hectic ride through the city on the Rote Dahng- the giant open ended red thai bus that takes you to and fro. Takes around an hour and a half to get home through the traffic. A crowded space in the rote dahng, an open ended butt for the car. Be careful not to let your things fall. I get home. Take one more shower. Eat dinner, then maybe shower again. Practice thai (reading and speaking). Read articles about ecology and thai history (!!!! Its so cool! Ill post a nerdy blog all about it someday..)etc…. by 9 you’re exausted. Reading gets blurry.keep going. Just keep going. Bed at 10. Repeat process.
No free time= bit of an adjustment.  Every Friday we do activities though.tomorrow= rock climbing and cave exploring! Last week was a retreat by a waterfall. Awesome. Ted wrote about it. Go read.

Ok blah blah blah it took forever to explain my busy schedule. I don’t even want to talk about my schedule. I want to talk about the following things. A) thai bathrooms B) Thai language C) Thai history D) random funny moments.  We’ll see how many I can get through. Ill write in short hand.

A)    Thai Bathrooms
Sometimes you squat over a porcelin potty and then wash it down a pipe with a bucket of water. Sometimes not. Can’t use toilet paper though. It clogs the pipes. Instead- there is always (and I’m serious here) a water spray gun hooked to the wall. You clean the poopy butt with the spray gun by the toilet. If you want- you can grab your own TP- but you have to throw it in the trash. I tend to use the TP. I think every ISDSI farang uses the tp. Its probably why the bathrooms smell so bad there.
B)    A funny Moment:
Kelsey: * points at food* what is this? (aria ka?)
Mae: Is rice and penis.
K: what?
Mae: rice and penis.
K: No. not right. No.
Mae: Yes! Is right! Rice and penis! Is penis!
K: *grossed confused BWAH? Scrunchy eyebrow look.*
Mae:! Is right! Is penis!
K: *oh I understand this now look* Oh!!!!! No! rice and peanuts! peaNut!
M: yes! Is what I say! is penis!
K: no. no. no. no. no.  Peanut. Always say t. its peanuT… penis means…. Something else. (End scene)

c) A funny moment while learning Thai:
- its not weird here to talk about poop. You say “I have diarreah” to your host mom, she says “Cool! Me too!”  Yesterday in class, we learned all the words for sick- a lesson that was complete with some pretty funny illustrations (I took pictures) Among all the usual sick words, I learned to say “throw- up”[ –Ah… jeean…. = formal (vomit) Nooh…? Ahg.= informal. (i.e.hurl)—] diarreah, [tong! See-ah? Or tong! Dun…] and constipated. [tong! Poog.] To practice, our ajan (professer), a relatively modest lady, taught us the word Krahn!- which refers to times… as in how many times you do something.

“Today, Ajan has diarreah 5 times. What happens to ajan?” She said to us, applying the concept.  The class blushed.
“Ajan goes to the bathroom,” we replied in turn.

d) Learning Thai
Every now and then, I pause and just shake my head at how ridiculous the language seems. The following info I present will quite possibly make the prospect of learning thai seem terrifying to anyone not currently enduring the process. However- I merely would like to share these lingual rules with you, because I find them  rather obnoxiously hilarious.
Thai is a tonal language. There are 5 tones- rising, falling, high, low, and flat. The only way I can remember how to say any of them is through puncuation- although that only sometimes does the trick.
High tone generally is paired with a ! noise. However it is sometimes paired with a slight inflection of the voice- in which case the sound is something like ?! You dip your voice down briefely, only to instantly fling it to a level of excitement.

Low tone is a period. Say. The. Words. Like. How. You. Just. Read. The. Ones. In. This. Sentence.

This…is…an…example…of…how…you…say...a…flat…tone… long and flat. Like a slow-mo robot. Sort of. 

This...?is…?a…?rising…?tone…? make sure to stay a little longer in the deep voice land than usual- otherwise you might accidentally make it a high tone.

“I am falllllliiiinnnnnggggg dooowwwnnnnnnnnn thheee mouuuunnnnttttttaaaaaiiiinnnn” = falling tone. When I write out the falling tone words, I have quite literally, draw them as if they are falling down a mountain.

The meaning of words changes dramatically depending on the tone.
Example: kaaaooowwwww toooaaaaadddt= I’m sorry. Cow toad= can I fart here?

Kaow…?= white. Kkkkkaaaaooooowwwwww = rice.  Kaow…=he/she.  kaow. =news. Say any of them wrong to a thai person, and they will have no idea what you’re saying. Seriously. Just now, I tried to ask which one was white in thai to my mae, and she wouldn’t stop miming eating something the whole time. Guess that means I said rice instead. Oops.

Reading is equally ridiculous- although I feel like I’ve picked it up pretty quick. There are 5 different letters for the sound k. 44 consonants total. R turns in to an N noise when its at the end of a syllable. There are a handful of silent letters, and a fancy silent letter whose job is to change the tone of the word. There are also tone markers- which make different sounds depending on the context. My favorite is the letter whose job is to make the letter it stands next to silent…. what’s the point of having that?

Thai isn’t solely written from left to right like our good old fashioned latin based languages. Instead, its more like a scrabble board. Some letters tower above others. Vowels sit on top of consonants; others hide below them.  Some vowels are placed to the left of a consonant, even though they are pronounced later on in the word. There is no punctuation at all. A sentence more or less looks like one really really really long word. Writing feels like constructing a strange type of train/ serpant with stubby arms and legs. In my head, it feels like I’m drawing a cardboard square monster instead of writing words. I look at the things I’ve written, and can’t stop from imagining a series of serpants that wiggle and twirl, the different letters spinning up and around their midriffs, and squirting out strange noises.

“Kelsey! Pay attention!” my Ajaan calls to me,
“What?” I then say in return.